.my life.

sumtimes in life, u didn't always feel good..

hidup bak roda,kjap kat atas,kjap turun bwh..

well, i feel that too..

and now my roda i feel it's di bwh..

that's what i feel by the way..

am not feel happy.

im just a normal girl..

with so many big dreams..

yeah i know, am a daughter to my parents..am also a student..am also a human being..

i know i've a responsibility as a daughter, student, human..

but pls treat me as a normal human being!

a human that have feelings and want her right!!

sy bukan seorang manusia yg hidup untuk memuaskan hati pihak2 lain..

sy x mampu untuk hidup untuk dinilai pada mata manusia

sy x mampu  hidup utk org 'melihat' sy

sy x suka itu

sy penat untuk hidup pada nilaian manusia..

serius,penat melayan karenah manusia..

and i feel that's very unfair u did to me..

our thought is different..

i can't fullfill ur demand..

u also can't fulfill my demand..

bcoz we have opposite thought..

u always think about people...

which i didn't care much...

but i did care my feelings..

u didn't care my feelings..

and it hurts..

kenapa ye things like this happen to me?

when i think deep, it's life actually...

i ve to accept that..

when i know it's going to be 'chronic'

i don't have any prevention for this..

but what i know:

pergantungan hanya pada dia yg satu..

bukan pada tiang yg boleh bengkok..

bukan pada manusia yg tak tetap hatinye..

...Allah...

may Allah ease my way, my life..i need my life..
my life is short..
am not going to waste a SINGLE single of it..

kakak itu

saya rasa bahagia hari ini..=)
bahagia selepas berjaya menenangkan srg ptn primigravida in labour and she delivered SVD without instrumental (vacuum or so whatever)..
i teach her how to teran and push,and the correct way to breath in and breath out and get ur energy and push!!
gaya expert x tahan..hahaaa


well,sy bahagia sgt..she did well..i like that patient very much..before she delivered her baby, she had contraction, regular and gradually increasing, which mmg tanda nak bersalin selain pecah ketuban and keluar show (mucos+blood), still she can smile..yeah i know she's quite nervous,and in pain!of course!..anak sulung kan, 1st experince..seronok dpt ajar dia with her husband beside her duk dgr celotoh medical student sorang ni...her husband is a very good supporter too!!

bygkan,time dia tgh nak teran tu,when i count 1-10, 'ok akk,common,1,2,3,4,5!!!'and the husband pun ikut sama,push akk!!push akk!!eh,silap..ayang!!push!!push!!hahaha...lawak okay..tp xleh gelak..hahaha


well,penting jgak sbnarnye husband duk bersama istri time istri nak bersalin kan bayi..it's emotional support..the wife get the strength from the husband, and i can feel when time nak teran tu, the wife can't really focus to whatever around her..so,the husband yg duk pegg tgn wife,and kalo boleh kira 1-10 second, the wife can follow and it makes the labour progress easily..see?

lama jgak sbnrnye baby nak keluar..da kire2 nak psg vacuum..well,kalo vacuum, husband xleh tgk kelahiran bayi and sumtimes, ada complication from the procedure,so kalo boleh kite mmg nak elakkan vacum and c-section (operation)..so,boleh byg kan x pentingnye kelahiran semulajadi aka VSD aka vagina spontaneous delivery?

and alhamdulillah, the kakak tu kuat semangat,cuba jgak tuk push in pain and the peluh2 abes..husband pun muka cuak..hehe..and the baby at last keluar dgn selamat..alhamdulillah..

and the beautiful thing happen was when the husband and the wife really appreciate us, the medical students and nurses in the labour room for helping them deliver the baby=) terima kasih ye dr..terima kasih ye nurse..terima kasih ye adik..he thanks everyone in the delivery suite tu and u know what i feel?rasa seronok sgt!!happy!!!bahagia!!

coz not all ptn will do that..

so,kpd akk yg asyik senyum sblm and slps bersalin td & da selamat melahirkan baby boy td,congratulation to u=)baby akk sgt hensem..hehe

awesome book fair!!!!

Yesterday ( friday 7th Oct 2011), Ain and i went to our mentor house for mento mentee session and right after the meeting, we make our own way to UPm serdang..best sgt!!!sbb de book fair!!harge murah2 sgt x tahan...actually, my frend study kat mesir bg link sal book fair ni,dia x pat gi,so mcm nak kirim je tu..hehe..tp,mang smpai je dewan kat maeps tu,u ll be amazing dgn byknye english books,story books, encyclopedia, general, cookies,gardening,mcm2 ok...

k,enjoy the pic=)

kiteorg mcm x tau nak start tour dr mana..sbb bsar sgt tmpat ni..afdhal,start dr kanan..hihi

agak kreatif cik adek sorg ni.mang x disediakan troli, dia jadikan kotak and tali as troli dia...

admire one of this few families..spend time with family and kids..beli buku byk sgt..ye lor, kalo satu buku rm3,dia beli puluh2 pun x effect pe...hehe

 there was a mother, siap bawak beg bsar mcm nak naik flight tu, and she bought lot of books and toys and stuff tuk anak dia..alot okayy..and it just cost her rm 400..when i asked her,what for dia beli byk2 ni?and she said, buku2 tu utk kwn2 anak dia kat tadika,xlama lagi birthday anak dia..instead of bagi sweets and choclates, baik dia bg buku2 yg rm3 je rege dia..best=)

i bought 2 books 'man from mars, woman from venus'..sbb pe?jeng2...

tuk mnambahkan pengetahuan...

ok,ni xde kene mengena dgn book fair tu..ni kelas kami yg biasa hari sabtu kami pi tu..minggu ni kami belajar sal ECG..huk2..sblm2 ni,mcm enjoy je blaja IM, tp bila masuk bab intreprate ECG ni,aduh...nak2 klas stat kul 8.30am, drag smpai kul 2pm..break 5 min in between, sy mmg hypo segalanya=(

pls inteprate..this is our 14 case to be solve, the last case at 1.55pm..i can't think more,seriously..hypoglycemic,hypoxic, hypo segalanye..

maafkan daku Dr Shuhaila..

bukan sy x nak belajar,tp mang sy x larat nak pk lg..sob2

kilogram

my duty for this week is in the clinic.

dr: da bape kg naik ni ye?
ptn: x naik byk dr...
dr: eh,kene la naik kan berat lagi..baby pun nak mkn juge..

me talking to myself...

mimi: da bape kg naik ye?
mim: em,xsure plak,tp rasa mcm da naik byk je ni..
mimi: da bape lama x kuar jog ye?
mim:sejak sebelum puasa rasanye..(sbb puasa ritu x penah pun jog)
mimi:lamanye!!!boleh x gi joging skrg????

pls....jadi...rajen..boleh...x...cik...syamimi...huarghhhh

small part of life as woman

few minutes b4 class kjap lagi stat..
i was thinking a bit..
my experience recently gi beraya umah org..

to be exact, she is my mother's friend, quite close to our family..she's very rich businesswoman, with 2 kids complete family i guess, ve her own scarf business and quite wealthy jugak la..
so,expect to her house to gi beraya and have some food for dinner..(haha,its only me..i dunno why,but somehow my stomach was craving for food especially rendang lemang nasi impit kuah kacang mee soto u name it :)

unfortunately, expect the unexpected..it was a sad story actually. baru je tahu,she was traumatized to cook and she didnt really prepared food for us.she took the whole day to prepare mee jawa, but then, x jadik and she just throw away the food like that. and end up buat cucur ubi and serve to us. then,her husband went out for a while and bought roti arab and kuah kari kambing ass add on meals..huhu..

my main point is,as woman, nak xnak,u ve to know how to cook, how to serve ur family (main important thing), how to serve the guest coming to ur house and all female stuff yg lain. its quite embarrassing for her actually, and i think she feel bad and sad..poor her..
yeah,she have everything..big house,big comapany,alhamdulillah praise to Allah nikmat Dia bagi..

i can make my mom as my idol..well,she is a very good cook. u name it,she can cook very well. even nasi dah mentah tgk masak tu pun dia boleh repair. if me,hoho...maaflah laling...

last few days we had this open house for my relative buat tahlil and small makan2 to celebrate syawal..well,as usual, my mom is the chef in the house, make sure everything was ready the day before the event..rendang, nasi impit,kuah kacang,smbal ayam..well,the main menu is nasi ayam..yeah,me and wani and nana and ain of course tolong ibu masak2..and on that day,not much to do except potong2 kuih and settle everything..everyone love the meals=)alhamdulillah,habis xde pembaziran berlaku..

and i was remember when the time nenek belah babah suruh ibu masakkan gulai itik or somthing before kahwin..just to testing ibu la tu...ibu xpenah pun masak gulai itik tu,but then,with the confidence and good technique, she made it. and nenek happy with her. then they get married,,hehe

hopfully my mother in law xletakkan syarat yg ketat sblm kawen..huhu~
(ok,that's my naughty imagination je..hihi)

syawal 2011

salam syawal buat semua=)

sywal tahun ni?alhamdulillah, msih diberikan rasa untuk merasai nikmat bersaudara, nikmat berhari raya,nikmat mengeratkan silaturrahim, dan 1001 nikmat yg Allah berikan lagi..

mana la tahu,tahun hadapan, i wont get the chance to berhari raya dgn family lagi kan..working maybe?sabah?sarawak?still in my mind..mybe umur x panjang?mana kite tahu tarikh masa kematian kita,btol x?

well, tahun ni raya agak special bcz all of us were working hard berniaga di bazar ramadhan sepanjang bulan puasa..berniaga jubah2..alhamdulillah,sale masih baik..maklumlah org nak raya kan..lpas ni,no more bazar,kami akan teruskan di kedai kat tesco and giant tu..smpai tgh mlm,still ada org dtg bershopping raya kat bazar tu..tu la org ckp,bazar ampangan akan sentiasa hidup..makin larut mlm,makin ramai org dtg,sbb kebanyakan peniaga kaan reduce the price btol2..yup,sempat jugak menyambar 4 bekas almond london=))just for rm40..murah kan???

ok,cte pagi raya..hardly wake up..but alhamdulillah,smpat lg siap sume baju nak pki pagi raya...rumah pun da bersih ready sume nak sambut tetamu..marilah jemput dtg umah=)

and macam biasa,pagi raya pas solat sunat sume,all of us will together2 in the house, bersalam salaman..but b4 the annual thing started, as usual jugak baba akan memberikan some speech regarding us..and i was surprised bcz the main subject he was talking in the fine morning was about me...yeah, i was crying, deep in my heart..i thought the past is past,make it as a memory of mine..but then, i was wrong..i was crying bcz of the pain..they said different thing from what they had said to me before..Allah heard my pray perhaps?

by the way, raya is raya..asked for forgiveness and redha..moga Allah mengampunkan dosa kita pada masa lalu, and memberi keazaman kpd kita untuk menjadi muslim yg lebih baik selepas ini..

kami 6 beradik all in red

ibu and baba wa sseriously talking,yeah bout me

Ramadhan Kareem...

alhamdulillah,umur masih dipinjam bg menunaikan indah puasa tahun ini..syukur,masih lagi dengan kesihatan yg baik,lengkap anggota tubuh (almaklum posting tulang skrg ni,byk tgk kes eksiden hilang kaki)...and plng bersyukur masih dikurniakan nikmat iman dan islam...

well2,last week i went home,( the week before x balik coz sumting happen over the phone)..i went home,settle up few things regarding kedai and jubah2 sekalian..alhamdulillah, business jubah semakin okay, ppl like the new things we imported from Egypt..

build up my confident and kesabaran melayan customer yg beraneka perangai ni, sgt2 perlu..hihi..kelakar pun ada jgak...kerenah org kan,mcm2...rasa mcm nak letak je depan kedai, 'not for fussy buyers'...aduhai2...xpe2,lg byk kite explore,lg byk kite dpt...

Ramadhan kali ni, ive a new plan for my family..its a sudden plan where, there was a chinese woman asked me about puasa..dia ckp,puasa ni,boleh je buat,asalkan u ada niat puasa,mst u boleh tahan punya...u sahur apa?then i said,biasalah org melayu,kalo duk dgn family,mesti sahur nasik..kalo duk  umah sewa,air ngan kurma saja...then, i asked  her,pernah ke puasa?then she said,yeah,she's a chinese muslim, and  da bbrp thn puasa...and dia mengamalkan sahur sgn oat..(bukan oat semata la,must add susu,kurma,or so whateever u nak campurkan)..well,its a good idea kan?

since i ve family history of hypertension on my paternal side, why not kite amalkan makan oat, good to control ur blood pressure..somehow or rather, oat is fibre yg tahan lama in the body and give u more energy berbanding nasik lauk pauk yg bg u energy up to afternoon,tehn u bo,then u starving balik..no point right?

huhu...so,cdgn telah diaprove ibu,and pelaksanaan da 2 hari..alhamdulillah..nak tgk kedaan berat badan and blood pressure bila dah habis 30 ramadhan ni cmne..harap2 kesihatan dlm kdn tiptop...esp babah and balong la nih..hypertension, obese..hoho..so,sape nak masuk family sy,jaga2..hahaha

jalan2 kat tesco,hakim nak sgt Thomas & Friend..

ibu bg rm1,xcukup duit nak byr..and he cried

bgn pagi terus hadap Thomas & Friend instead of siap nak gi skool

(tu yg payah tu kalo da bli Thomas)

berbuka satu Ramdhan ni,ibu bg pilihan for me to decide what to eat..jln2 tesco,jumpe daging and perut, terus pk jom masak gulai lemak rebung daging and perut..wallah~

and i suddenly remembered one of my fav food, iaitu pulut kuah durian....and my mother made it too!!so lovely~sebab da ada durian dlm peti ais (stok tuk hakim sbb dia suka sgt durian,yaya x minat sgt)..so,ibu pun buat terus...

gulai rebung and daging and perut...sedap smpai ,xleh nak describe

ibu buat kuah durian tu byk,so i packed awal2 for myself (stok mkn kat putra nnti) and for my sister,wani..yeah,she's going hone xlama lagi!!

oh,ni pulut nak mkn ngan kuah durian..pulut campur ngan santan..ibu terer buat,anak dia ni?hem...mkn boleh la..hehe

oh yeah, we invited nenek and pak ngah's family over the house and berbuka sama2..meriah sikit..ibu pun excited masak skali byk...sbb nye lagi,wani just break a good news..she passed all her exam papers and will be home immediately!!tau je result,sume pas,terus dia booked ticket the day after..hehe..so,maybe by tomorrow dia smpai msia la kot..surprise la tu x nak btau org dia balik umah.


ok,thats all for my 1st Ramadhan kali ni..how about u?
hopfully everything will be fine ya..target to reduce weight?jom sama=))

kahwin part II

salam..

today is sunday, i feel good today=)

we have morning talk about fiqh puasa at Ikram's office and abes je talk tu,terus gi walimah my classmate aka Mohd Hafiz..teruja nak tgk pengantin..ye lor,hafiz is one of the good guy in our class before this..u can ask him anything, and he rarely say no to help u..baik kan?

so, yeah we did enjoy the food and stuff. dia buat di dewan precint 8 ..padahal rumah dia dekat Cheras..yep,perhaps dia saja wat kat putrajaya so that we all can come meriahkan majlis..kalau dia wat kat Cheras,susahkan for us to travel,dgn x mahir jalan nye lagi kan..sesat je la manjang~

well,i do like this walimah a lot.u want to know why?coz i can feel the 'barakah' inside it...

we arrived around 12.30 pm, and pengantin da duduk di meja santapan..sedang membaca doa oleh si pengerusi majlis..doa yg mendoakan agar pengantin sentiasa berbahagia di bwh redha Allah hingga ke akhirnya..insyaAllah..then, majlis mkn2 pun start..sambil tu,there was a group of boys, yeah our clasmate too, buat group band and they song few nasyeed and lagu suami istri lebih kurang mcm tu la..cool sbb the band is our classmate too!!

pas abes je diaorg nyanyi, music still on with lagu2 nasyeed and selawat..bahagia rasa hati..and around 1.15pm, emcee buat announcement waktu zohor da masuk, and pengantin will leaving us to have a break, most probably nak solat zohor dulu, and they will come back around 2pm..and berkumandang lah azan dlm dewan u..even there are chinese inside the hall, the beauty of slam can still be practice rite?

yeah, hafiz the hafiz Quran with her comel wife,Ainul (his x-skoolmate)

our classmate, Farid and the gang..thumbs up!

ho yeah...we left the hall around 1.30pm..belakang kitaorg tu ada pelamin.. gorgeousness sungguh!!!ada juga 2-3 tingkat kek belakang tu..perhaps at 2pm, pengantin will be on the stage to tangkap2 gambar and acara potong kek..

yep,tu saje cerita kawen yg menarik untuk dikongsi bersama..i do think if i can make my wedding like this..i mean,eat early with the guest, have a break for half and hour to solat Zohor, and gather back after 2pm..u wont miss anything rite?plus the selawat and nasyeed sepanjang majlis...superb!i like it~


well,i wanna share 2 cases of my friend..tajuk dia, X BAGI KAWEN..u can give ur opinion kat bawah sana k..

case 1: my close friend, a 30 year old single girl..she's one of my classmate too,really want to get married, tried hard to make friends with guys and what not..but her problem is,her mother didnt allowed her to get married, sebabnye,she's still studying!!kadang2 she shared her story with me, just to clear out her heart, with tears..one day, there is a mother of a man called her mother, when suddenly she heard the conversation over the phone..she know the guy's mother was asking for her, but then the mother asking her younger sister bout the thingy..i mean, my friend's mother ni divert the call to ask her younger sister..sedih weyh!!!
u know,she's 4 out of 6 siblings..sume da  kawen, except she and her youngest sister..even sister bwh dia pun dah kawen..sobz...how to settle when ur own mother didnt allowed u to get married even u r 30th?

case 2: my own friend jgak, a 26 yo girl, have a steady bf for nearly 3-4 years..but then, the bf is still studying, and not yet working..hem..dia nak kawen, coz she think at her age, she should get married...lgpun,dia dah ada calon, and at the guy's side, no problem at all..her problem is, most of her brothers didnt agree at all when she said she wants to get married=(
ye lor,she is the youngest among them, and need the brothers to jadi wali coz ayah da xde lagi..so,dia mng kene dengar ckp brothers dia yg sume dah kawen...hukz..

well,what's ur advices to both my friend ni?

kahwin part 1

tajuk je da x tahan..hehe..its not me by the way, its all about my friends...

well,syukur alhamdulillah, last night my classmate aka mohd firdaus da selamat diakadnikah bersama atikah (she's bot from our uni btw)..everyone terkejut tibe2 dia wat pengumuman nak kawen..hehe..tp kiteorg x terkejut sgt sbb da expected he will be married by this year.da nama satu klas kan..well, aside from his parents and family, im the one yg happy sgt2 dia kawen awal..=) many reasons behind his marriage makes me happy, smpaikan when i post 'sedang menyuntik rasa bahagia itu' di fb recently, ramai yg salah anggap dgn perkara tersebut..oh my...rmi plak yg salah teka..isk2..hanya certein ppl je yg tau what's that meaning..the main point is,im really happy=))

dengan satu lafaz,sah sudah firdaus bergelar suami..yeah,alhamdulillah..one of my friend dulu penah ckp, he used to be a juru akad nikah, but he's not married yet that time..dia plak kene usik,sbb org duk kacau,ustaz tlg akadkan org,ustaz bila lagi?huhu..xtau la la ni da diakad ke blom..

yeah, happy face..mcsha and me..kat mana2 kami pg,sume tanye, korang ni kembar ke?n i replied, xlah, kami adik beradik je..hoho...bukan takat kat spital,kat kenduri akad tu pun ramai org tanye...sama sgt ke muka kiteorg ni?

balik awal pas da akad tuh..singgah kat tasik precint 8, used to be our jog park dulu b4 wujudnye jog park kat precint 9..kat precint 8 ni best, sbb pemandangan dia cantik..ada tasik buatan yg besar, masjid blakang tu yg cantek, byk alat2 mainan and mcm2 lagi..saje singgah nak amik udara mlm,xbrani nak jalan sebab kawasan situ gelap sikit..so,jalan2 bhgn depan je..and took pictures=)

this is one of my best lecturer.. i think she's an internal medicinist, tp kdg2 mcm rheumatoidologist pun ada. super power n cool dr..dr suhaila...marrried with one cute daughter, wife to super cool dr rafizi, an internal medicinist jugak..the great thing bout this 2 favourite lectures are, mereka berdua lah yg byk menagajar kami IM, without charge us anything. dari dulu,mereka berdua mmg intention nak ngajar tu sgt tinggi. they used to be our honoured lecturer, tp x taula,syg sgt kat diaorg ni..now,da masuk sem 9, diaorg akan buat kelas every saturday at 8.30am,for free, without any paying from the uni, and im not going to miss one of his class ever, except kalo de emergency only..diaorg sanggup tinggalkan family,korbankan masa weekend to be with us, so am not going to miss that..moga Allah sahaja mampu membalas jasa mereka berdua,insyaAllah..

adik

this morning, i arrived Hop Serdang SANGAT LAMBAT..well,plan nak smpai 9am cmtu,tp jam + hujan yg sgt lebat+xde parking available,memaksa sy parking kat tepi highway tu,and sampai lambat,and Alhamdulillah,xde klas or BST with the drs..

last night,i slept with Hakim,my beloved bro..hihi..tu pun dia terpakse tido ngan yaya sbb ibu baba gi Giant nak beli brg,and yaya kidnapped terus naik atas,terus bawak tido padahal baru pukul 10pm..and luckily ibubaba naik proton xde bunyil,sbb kalo naik Honda,hakim akan dgr bunyik tit tot kete tu yg bising,and konpem dia lari turun bawah balik nak tido ngan ibu baba balik~

so,sblm tido tu,banyak la borak2 ngan hakim..hihi..seronok=)and hakim slalu ckp ni sblm tido,'hakim sayangggg yaya'...(well,dia akan ckp mende ni dgn sape2 dia tido pun)..and i feel like,boleh x u remain kecik je cmni xyah bsar2,coz we love u a lots?

i want him to remain kid and childish,can i?

and bangun pagi je,ibu and baba gi KL ada hal,so i voluntered myself anta akim school..around 7.50am,da siap sume (senang pulak nak siapkan budak ni kalo ibu baba xdekat umah.sebab kalo ibu baba ada,konpem liat nak bangun mandi apa sume), and akim ckp,'yaya,akim nak gi school yaya tau. akim da besar,boleh gi school yaya..' and i replied, 'xboleh la akim..yaya nye school jauh,pas anta akim,yaya balik school..xde budak kecik kat school yaya'.. and he said,'xpe, budak kecik gi smart reader.akim da besar'...haha..seronok toi mulut kecik itu berbicara..hihi..

and sepanjang perjalanan nak anta budak kecik ni,dia langsung x bercakap..oh,sedang menunjukkan protes..xnak ckp pape..pandai2~

ain cakap,ni mak usu kitaorg masa muda2 dulu

hakim suka wat homework=)rajen kan!!

hakim suka amik pic kakcik and kak teh solat...hihi

p/s: maghrib tadi kol umah,and hakim ckp,esok nak gi school yaya!!!

a week before new sem start

assalamualaikum...

yup,i just have another one week left to reach final year..perasaan?sy cuak,dan takut...cuak la paling banyak..

ketika ni,kat umah, xsempat nak jetlag sejak balik dari Egypt ari tu..hari2 ada program yg memerlukan sy keluar..1st few days,sibuk umah kawin sana sini..banyak sgt,ye lor, musim cuti sekolah ni,berlambok2 umah kawen smpai ke KL kami pi...babah ckp,kene la pg umah kawen ni,jemputan orang kan wajib dipenuhi, and alasan baba,kene gi sbb nnt kalo xgi nnti,xde sape nak dtg kenduri kawen anak dia..

so,memang sy busy dgn umah kawen..and start ari isnin,busy plak uruskan jubah2..hoho..gaya sepuluh je kan..sy da plan nak wat business jubah..and sedang mengusahakan brg2 nak jual..insyaAllah,da apply tempat jual kat Giant Senawang tu,,target tuk raya la kan..tgh tunggu si wani beli jubah dari sana..and few jubah from Msia jgak...byk gak plan dlm pale ni nak buat...

gi pd uruskan shawl saree and kain2 saree...i like my new baju kurung dari kain saree!!!hehe..sgt cantek..oh my Allah,da plan nak pakai time kenduri fai nanti=)

oh yeh,kawan sy nak kawen!!sobz..sedih plak dia nak kawen...she's my x-skoolmate kat stj dulu..xingat plak penah sekelas ke x,tp kiteorg x kesah sekelas ke x,yg penting ukuwwah tu tetap wangi sampai skrg..hukz..SEDIH you!!ingat dulu,fai ni jenis yg serius,tp mcm kanak2 ribena pun ada gak..dia sempoi je,and yg penting sy xpenah gaduh dgn dia mcm sy gaduh ngn best frend sendiri..haha..skrg dia nak kawen,insyaAllah raya ke 4 nanti..da ajak budak setuja lain konvoi ke Perak ,moga dipermudahkan..and semoga Fai aka Fasihah bersama pasangan bahagia hingga ke akhirnya...the best thing is,Fai x knal pun pasangan dia tu, dan dan je laki tu dtg umah and bertunang and plan terus nikah.,.hihi..inilah kerja Allah,Fai mmg aktif usrah kat UTp..u know,UTP mang kuat islami dia..seronok2=)

ramai da kawan sy kawen..ritu time kat Egypt pun, Iffah kawen jgak..Iffah ni kawan serumah sy sebelum dia keluar baru2 ni..perancangan nak kawen la tu rasanya..Hafiz pun da kawen, my classmate...pasni,pas grade,insyAllah berduyun2 la org kawen..cpat2 la sume org kawen..hoho..

sy mmg sengaja menyibukkan diri dgn perkara2 mcm ni..i mean,nak wat business and stuff..sy cuba untuk x pk perkara yg wat hati sedih,hopfully Allah bantu sy..and sy cuba untuk x pk cuak sy nak masuk final yr..high expectation from lecturers, 2 pro exam kene hadap,mcm2 lagi perkara yg kalo sy nak jerit,sy nak jerit kat laut...bg lepas sume..hoho ..


k la,nak siap...husna ajak gi umah dia nak wat testing cake dia..boleh je..pasal makan,sy on je..

p/s: cuba membuat hati gembira=)

Allah is here with me

well, when i was typing this, i ve been a week in Mansoura..huhu.alhamdulillah..things going very well, even though my sister and her housemate were in examination week, which is mean books and books..i dont care,coz my attention's here is doing my elective..heh?elective je ke?xde la..of course nak menjejaki bumi mesir ni,mncari pengalaman and kekuatan diri sendiri..


cerita tentang di mesir ni,first skali, i we as proud coz am surrounding with all Muslim. even my sis's housematese  are ALL good muslimah,insyaAllah..ske tgk depa solat jemaah,mkn jemaah,masak gilir2, and stuff. i remembered when we were in India last time,ibu masakkan few meals to my friends while they were very busy with the hospital stuff. and i was like,wanna do it here to my new housemates.i feel happy cooking, washing, even sgt teruja menggoogle resipi best2..hehe..google sikit punya byk,tp nak membuatnye,sukar juge sbb bahan2 sukar didapati..tgk la cmne nanti,teringin nak wat karipap..hoho


few days earlier, i had fever..mengada sungguh kan demam dikala sy sgt2 memerlukan kesihatan yg baik utk kehospital berjalan kaki 20 minit, ke sana dan ke mari dlm cuaca yg panas disusuli angin yg sejuk, disamping kaki yg sakit memerit, juga beberapa minor problem di hidung yg sesak dan mata yg berair, juga back pain..but,yeah,i manage it well alhamdulillah..baru 1st week..

and today, i feel sad (sudden). not because of the problem with my physical limitation, not my physical pain or whatever related to my surrounding, but it's related to my heart. whatever u did to me,i know im alone..but i do remember,Allah is always be side me....He do it purposely for me..redha and tawakkal saje okay??

kdg2 slalu jer teringat the advice, jgn risau perkara yg xpasti berlaku lagi..no need to worry,coz ur life is still go on..lg baik redha and syukur saje=))

 1st day to the city,rmi bdak2 jual gula2 kapas..kecik je,boleh la sedap

 uni aka dewan kuliah

 besar tmpat ni.kalo hari biasa,mmg chaotic

  mansurah ni mmg tmpat blaja..ada kuliah tibb (dr), dentistry and for religious student

 wani depan mansoura hospital..1st day 1st time masuk

one of the bangunan2 rumah yg ada..kalo msia de bangunan cmni,sume kurus naik tangge=)

seronok

salam..am feel good=)

selalunye hari Ahad mcm mlm ni,i da prepare or maybe da smpai pun putrajaya..if i was pre clinical yr student,8am esok mst de klas..when i was clinical yr student,sok pg mst ada kat ward..big ward round.hooo yeahh...

but today?hehe..am still in my house!!!watching csi,season ke brape ratus missed ntah..smbil dengan riang hati merancang hari esok bersama ibuku...smbil berkira2 nak gi jalan2 menjelajah bumi..hu~ayat x tahan..

but yeah,tomorrow's planning padat..hopfully Allah izinkan nak gi bangi,pd and putra..huhu~lot of works menanti,but its non-medical..hihi

thank u Allah!!i love holiday!!!

jogging time!!

uhuk2..

sudah lama nmpaknye cik mimi x bersenam..time posting psy, sebulan duk terendak,sebulan duk kl,mmg jarang la sangat nak pakai sports attire tu..well,da exam ni,baru terasa nak joging balik..ye lor,dari duk saje ptg2 x wat pape,baca buku ti buku baca kita balik,bek kua gi park,joging kuakan peluh..kan?

bagus sebenarnye exercise ni..keep maintaining ur good health..x amik masa lama pun..dlm 20-30 minutes je..buat pun 3-4 kali sminggu..insyaallah,kesihatan akan mantap smpai ke tua..tp kene jaga diet la jgak kan..

pastu,kalo bersenam ni,mlm tido mmg puas sgt..sbb penat joging kot..so,tu pun kelebihan bersenam..

pastu,bersenam boleh hilangkan stress..when i was year1 and 2, almost everyday i jog..pre-clinical yrs mmg tough sket,bila jog,lega haiii....happy je ari2 gi klas..badan cergas!

and paling best,i can keep maintain my body weight..la ni,BMI dlm 22..kalo x jog lama,naik BMI ku..isk2..risau sungguh!

here i attach some pictures to show u the beautiful of Putrajaya..hihi..cantek tau..kat park ni la kami slalu joging...ada tract,tasik,masjid..subhanallah..tenang je nak jog...

 ni kat area pasar mlm.precint 2.depan sana tu masjid besi

 ni kat park precint 8. cantekk kan...ive told u

 plan nak nikah kat masjid ni leh x?hehe..xleh2,jauh bangatt

 owh,ini sy waktu muda2 dulu

joging tract and segala peralatan nak main sume ada kat park precint 8 ni

tapi,kadang2 x best gak jog kalo ada para lelaki memakai short..adess..hilang mood sudah..

so,sila la jaga aurat anda supaya orang lain x wat dosa and hilang mood nak jog..heh

horror

penah x time korang tgh nyenyak tido,da masuk REM pun at 1.30 am,suddenly ur housemate woke u up,and told u that,there was a pencuri kat tingkat bawah and 2 of ur friends were kat bawah jugak?
what do u think?

hoho..this is real ok.happen to me last few days, on Monday's night to be exact. i was like,stunning,plus my brain tried to centralized everything, with the other scared-looking-girls were in my bedroom. we have 6 girls in the house,yet 2 of my friends ada kat bawah with the pencuri..i didnt think to scream or what not, but my heart was like,'my friend kat bwh dgn pencuri????penjenayah???perogol???or so whatever, pounding heart and i feel thirsty suddenly kecut perut,lemah semangat,sume lengkap...then,my friend locked us in my room,since only my room can be locked from inside.

i just grab my handphone,and for the first time ever in my life,i called policeman around 1.45am. 999,dia suh bg alamat umah,and talian terus sambung ke polis putrajaya..suara ketaq abes.bg alamat umah mcm kelibut,btau kat polis tu,ada org masuk umah kitaorg!hoho..tragik sungguh!xkan ku lupakan detik itu..

area 2am, my 2 friends yg ktorg pk ada kat bawah bersama pencurik or penjenayah tu, ketuk pintu bilik saya yg ada 4 girls nih.waaaa!!!!!i nak bukak pintu, but then,the other friends x bagi,suh senyap,pgg penyapu and hanger (all in dark), not let us out, takut penjenayah tu tgh acu pistol or pisau kat kwn ktorg kat lua. takut ktorg plak jadi tebusan kan..mula2 tu,kawan yg kat luar bilik ketuk pelan2 je,maybe x nak bg kejut..pastu,diaorg ketuk kuat gle..hoho..bertambah2 la sume kwn2 dlm bilik ni x bg bukak pintu..

few minutes later,kiteorg ber4 masih kat bilik bergelap lg ni,tbe2 dikejutkan dgn bunyik hp..yeah, abg polis call, btau polis putra da smpai..ketaq lagi suara cek ni ckp kat tepon..kiteorg nak konpem abg polis smpai,baru ktorg bkk pintu..safety 1st la kan?

alhamdulillah, ktorg yg masih berbaju tidur ni grab je pape yg ptut in my room ni,tutup aurat sume,turun jmp polis and when i saw my 2 friends kat bawah,still alive tp mke cuak gle,i felt relieve..i hug them, and syukur nothing happen to them.

the real story is mcm ni..ain yg duk bilik single kat bawah,tetibe terjaga , bila gitar dia kene petik and bergerak dr tmpat asal ke tingkap..mle2 dia wat x heran.tp bila 2x plak gitar tu bunyik,dia cuak laaa.nmpak plak ada tangan masuk celah tingkap tu.huaa..dia terus bangun tido,bukak lampu,and naik atas tuk panggil mcsha teman dia turun..waktu nak turun tu,bilik dia jadik gelap,meaning ada org tutup lampu tu..and at the same time,rusha yg mang da terjaga panggil diaorg yg kat bwh ni,x nyahut,tu yg dia pk,pencuri da masuk umah..she woke up ros and ainhalim and they enter and lock into my room..

itu je cte tragik kami mlm tu..debar,mang debar la..

the policeman was like a spiderman, panjat umah ktorg and took the keys from us kat tingkap tingkat atas, and dia bkk pintu dr bawah..bila kitotrg kua bilik je,rmi gle polis kat lua...hohoho..plus pak cik jiran2 yg berkerumun dpn umah..well,police mmg cekap la.ktorg x dgr pun bunyik motor diaorg smpai,dan2 je byk gle motor dpn umah..

and lastly,diaorg dpt tangkap the person yg duk intai umah ktorg ni..jiran selang sebuah umah, mang umah tu sume pekerja restoran mat bangla indon foreigner sume lengkap la duk situ..person yg kene tangkap ni pakai selipar lain2,and dia menyrok kat restoran dia keje tu kat dpn umah sana..tu yg highly suspicious tu..

well,tu la pengalaman ngeri kami for the 2nd time duk putra ni..1st time dulu, laptop rusha kene curi dr dlm umah,but then x tahu sape and cmne pencuri tu masuk umah..

sejak mlm tu,i cant really sleep well.mlm2 je terjaga sendiri...mls pk panjang,tido balik..

Ya Allah,kau selamatkanlah keselamtanku dan sahabat2 ku walau dimana mereka berada..amin..

...

today is friday and im still in putrajaya.
early in the morning, i woke up with full spirit, energetic and pray for this day will gimme bright smile and happiness..yeah,i love friday very much..tenang je rs hati..

but tonyte,after a while, i look into my books,i suddenly cry..i cant keep on looking into my books..i just cry, lucky me to have this single room all myself..yeah,mybe its due to exam..just around the corner, and there are LOTSSSss of stuff yg x disentuh lagi..even yg dah baca pun da lpe..my mom called me and i just dun have the right feeling..she was putting spirit on me,but i didnt really get it..i cant accept it..yeah,she believe i can go through all of this...i dont understand...the words are soo,i dunno...

i keep on crying..the pain is still inside me..i cry for nothing..
the truth is,its just my hormone imbalance..
sekian.

mental illness

m&ms and mental illness..is it related?

no evidence base medicine, so i cant talk more...heh

but for me,yeah..for time being, m&ms taste bitter,no more sweetness from it. sepatutnya, m&ms will give u happiness,release from tense, bahagia and sort of.. chocolate kan?sape x suka coklat sila jgn baca..sbb sy suka choclate,and now,i have to @ must change my fav choc..will think about it..ingat senang ke nak tukar selera?mcm tukar baju?hoh...kalo my sis (one of my sis),mmg ssh tkar baju,sbb dia x tau nak match apa dgn apa..da siap pakai sume,leh tukar baju balik,sbb dia rs x sesuai la,last minute nye keje kan...itu dia la..nak wat cmne...

but me?hem,im simple..senang je nak pki pape,match in everything..but its not the same like u change ur fav 'choc'..

ok,done la dgn perkara merepek di atas..mereka x faham pun perasaan saya...kite turutkan saje ok?

talk about mental illness,psy posting yg sy sedang jalani skrg,hem,i think i would like to classify my self as a not major depression disorder..heh..in our practice, we would follow ICD 10 or DMV 4..and for managemnet, CPG msia is the one la..bcz i can still cope with my problem,insyaAllah,i will not classify myself eventhough in this one week time, my frens often asked me,why u look sad?why u r crying?y u dont want to join us in bla bal bla?y u look different?

there is a man,in the ward,baru je dimasukkan sbb MDD..major depressive disorder..tense dgn parent's problem,putus tunang lagi,stress from the ppl around him in the mass, and problem dgn kerja2 askar yg berat..(yeah,my ptn are ALL soldier,posting kat terendak kan)..so,almost all ptn had the same thing,same problem..rmi x leh cope dgn kerja askar yg berat ditambah dgn personal problem..so,dsbbkan xleh cope ni,dpt la diagnosis MDD , or adjustment disorder ubtuk mmbantu para askar nih..hem,ptn ni agak unik..sbb,i think he likes my name..every day,he ll find me,call my name,dr Mimi!!oh my...he will ask the juniors or my frens around and ask about me..that's scary rite?since then, i xnaik ward lagi..takot derrr...luckily,next week,we are going to HKL and i bet psy ptn kat sana lagi menarik..haha


and ada lagi sorg ptn ni, MDD sbb tension dgn istri yg sblm ni nak mintak cerai dgn dia..sedih gle dgr cte abg askar ni..badan big size,tp hati dia,so small..he loves his wife soooo much,really!!!kalo la istri dia dpt tgk cmne dia cte kat kiteorg ni yg dia mmg syg gle kat wife dia tu,konpem istri dia malu wat kes diaorg naik mahkamah...

byk mende sy blaja from my patient kan?not only about psy, but also the real world out there..each ptn came with different stories, stories yg give u an idea on how to see ur life..

from them,i feel scared to see the 'marriage' part. marital problem is the most highest problem face by ppl..tortured ur mind,effect ur work,effect ur mood,feeling and stuff..in marriage life,the most crucial part is between the 1st to 5th year of marriage..once u can hold ur spouse firmly between this period of time,insyaAllah, u can hold ur spouse for ever, exclude all the third party yg feel jealous with ur marriage or so whatever..

hem,whatever pun,pray for me ya.. hopefully i can face my life after this with bright and big heart..

no need to read

2 are enough.

enough for me.

no more after this.

it's painful.

bersangka baik

things didn't really come as expected..
things didn't really happen as we plan..

well, today, i feel sad..ya,am not going to tell it here bcz wah,so many readers ma!!i thought my blog will be read by me and person i know who will read my blog..nmpknye, those ppl i didnt wish to read, will read it..hem..

know what,i feel like the world didn't really be fair with me..not really the world, i mean,the people..how can i say ya?

after a while ive been thinking,my conclusion is, 'ya hatiku,bersangka baiklah dengan Allah.kerna Allah da aturkan segalanya untukmu.even what im facing now is part of His plan.who am i to against Him?even,its hard..yeah,it's hard,painful,i ve no word to describe it anymore.i ve been crying,but for what?

Hidup adalah ujian membuat pilihan..


silent is better than words..is it?


i just need my best friend.but she's too far away.i need u!!!